The Heart Art Project
|
August 22, 2007 - Update Thank you to all of the persons who have emailed us with similar concerns about heart health. (A special hello to Kaston Snyder and mom Jamie. I hope Kaston is doing well.) Rob continues in good health with his heart and has had the benefit of wonderful modern medicine which includes a defibulator and several stents and medicines which keep him well. When Rob had his initial heart attack at age 38 we got him to Boulder Community Hospital (thanks to the 911 call by our 11 yr. old Annie.) We were incredibly fortunate to have our good (doctor) neighbor Bill working there that day. He helped Annie and 7 year old sister Katie begin to understand that their dad would be okay. I won't forget the nurse in the emergency room that night who said I was lucky to have Rob survive the "widowmaker" attack in the worst place a person can have a heart problem. Later we reflected on our "wake up call." Our formerly busy lives were placed on hold. Perhaps life gives us a gift in disguise when we are suddenly set on a path where we realize we are not really in control of our lives after all. And maybe that is a good thing. As an artist, I vascillate between letting life flow without daily plan and having a desire to control everything I can, with heavy leaning to the latter. Life's events have thrown me many highs and lows. Many. After numerous starts and stops on my own, I have finally figured out there is the most important source in my own dear God's love, called "steadfast" in the Bible. Staying strong for me. Not ever letting me down, even if I let Him down. He is always there for us. And He is there for anyone who asks Him to help them, if they only will just ask with their heart. (John 3:16.) So now we are back to the desires of our heart. Can you see why I chose this beautiful organic shape to be a motif of my artwork and its many possibilities? It goes beyond the mundane, though I will never put down those familiar usages in our culture. I grew up with them. I see in the heart shape a way into the forest where tree branches circle the light in an enclosing embrace set free above. In another vein I see imaginary curving splashes of beautiful color in abstract form which allows the viewer to relate in their own special understanding and interpretation as art should be. Poet Sara Teasdale said to "look for a lovely thing and you will find it. It is not far... it never will be far." I do so believe this to be true. It is all in our perception of what is beautiful. And so many things in this world can be beautiful if we will call them so. Painting allows me to recognize and to call up what is beautiful and exciting in life. This will always be my life's work, no matter what other circumstances exist....Calling something to be beautiful is not just a right or option for an artist. It is an opportunity for the artist to embrace God's creation with a robust "Yes!" And then follow her own creative heart toward finding what she or he was meant to find. Love is at the core of this simple heart shape which captivates my art work. It is more than enough, it is infinite. "The beautiful is what moves you." --Jean Dubuffet
October 1, 2003- The Project Explained This project is dedicated to my husband Rob, and anyone out there going through a tough challenge. The painting above, which is my website trademark, is actually a valentine poster I made for Rob a few years ago. The heart symbol has been a part of my art work since I first used it in art school in 1984 in an abstract watercolor painting that hangs in our home. Our family is currently in "waiting" mode as our insurance companies decide (in very slow fashion), whether or not they will honor Rob's claim, after a heart attack at age 38 and subsequent episodes in the hospital. Rather than becoming angry and bitter, (which is the first human reaction!) I am deciding to put my abilities to work and create a series of paintings and prints which will help pass and record the time in a creative way while we wait to hear from the insurance companies as to when they will honor our policy and either begin to give us our funds due to support the family, or deny the appeal. I propose to do a drawing, painting or print every day until the claim is resolved, and show them on the Heart Art Page. The imagery is based on the heart symbol, which I am fond of, for many reasons. Love is its meaning. Love is what every person needs. There should be a "love bank" just as there is a blood bank and a community food drive! This is my way of getting through one of life's barriers with a creative spirit and with love, as opposed to constant worrying and the accompanying stress. I hope you will return to this website now and then and see the heart paintings as they progress. Perhaps you are also in a challenging life circumstance. I suggest you might try also to find a way to turn your frustration into a new purpose which embraces love. "Perfect love casts out fear." Don't be afraid or insecure, but try to find a way to put love into your challenge. God's love is the real and perfect love, because only God can love us fully and completely, despite all our human faults. This is my absolute motivating force when life tries to squelch the passion to create art and make beautiful paintings. It is is my way of holding on to (and passing on) the real, inspirational love I have found in my life.
November 23, 2003.......Good News! On November 13th we were notified that one of our insurance companies (supplemental ) had decided to honor Rob's disability claim. They have begun to pay us monthly checks and remitted all the funds owed since the claim went into effect about six months ago! Now we are waiting for the main carrier to deliver us their decision. It has been almost a year since Rob returned to the hospital with more artery blockage and since he stopped working at the high stress job which contributed to his first heart attack in 1999. We are praying the second insurance company will come through any day now. -karen, pondfolk@aol.com ______________________________________________ 11/24/03 Bad news today. The main insurance company has denied our appeal. This was the company that first had it approved and had been paying us disability checks every month, until they changed their mind, shortly after. Ironically, the second company denied the claim in the beginning and now have changed their mind and sent us disability pay. It feels like we are being "messed with." I'm fairly flabbergasted at this point. Going to find my sketchbook..... karen _______________________________________________ 11/25/2003 Well, I said I'd do the heart drawings and paintings until the insurance companies made their decisions. We have one for, and one against right now. We have learned some things about insurance companies, and they are not very complementary things. So what does one do? God says, "Vengeance is mine," and I still believe God will care for us and protect Rob's health through all of this difficulty. I have been through tough times before and have found that the art spirit doesn't die with hard times, but sometimes even gets a spurt of activity. I will be painting with fury. Our congressman is seeking to help, thank goodness. It may not help our case, but future cases at least. I will still be working with the heart theme, all the way up until February 14th, Valentine's Day. It's one of my favorite holidays because it's all about love. "Faith, Hope and Love abide, but the greatest of these is Love." We may be down, but we are not OUT! Love burns bright. --karen __________________________________________________ 12/4/2003 Something new happened today. We got a letter from the main insurance company which says they have decided to review our case again. They are giving us another month before handing down another decision, and are sending us a check "as a courtesy". Hope is renewed. God is good. __________________________________________________ 12/16/2003 We received the check last week from the main insurance company. It was equivalent to what we would have been receiving all these months since they stopped sending disability checks last spring. It was enormously helpful to receive those funds. We are still waiting for their final decision as to whether or not Rob will receive disability checks from them in the future. I am still doing heart drawings, and am taking a break from other painting to get ready for Christmas. _________________________________________________ 1/24/2004 Still waiting to hear from the insurance company. They are beyond their promised time for a decision. It's very stressful around here, and I'm happy to be getting back to painting now that the holidays are over. Another angiogram in the hospital yesterday turned up the need for Rob to have a defibulator put in, similar to a pacemaker. It will give us a certain peace of mind, at least. I have a lot of little heart drawings which I am going to start translating to paint this weekend. They are very abstract. I can't wait to put color into the designs. _________________________________________________ 2/2/2004 I finished another heart art piece, "My New Heart" this weekend in acrylic, a medium I have not worked with for awhile. I love the speed of drying, and the way you can simply paint layers on layers more easily than with oils. Another heart landscape is on the drawing board now, underpainting done. Dean Ornish, famed heart doctor was on tv last friday, talking about how meditation or activities which provide similar focus are so helpful in combatting stress. Painting is surely one of those activities which provides such an immersion. (It also explains why I get so cranky when I haven't painted for a few days.) Even simply looking at other people's paintings provides a kind of release, and starts the creative wheels turning in the mind. Some might call this an "escape," but I think of it more as cultivating that meditative state which fuels the creative spirit we all need to nourish. _________________________________________________ 2/14/2004 Today, on Valentine's Day, we received a check from the main insurance company simply out of the blue, no explanations, no decisions on Rob's case, nothing. Just a check. I'm taking this as a good sign. The timeliness of this coming on Valentine's Day is a hope to me. God is good. It's been over two months since this company decided to review Rob's case again, and this is our first piece of mail since that last contact in December. I am finishing the last painting with the heart theme and will be moving on to new things, though I'm sure I will find the heart motif back in my artwork from time to time. The heart shape is found again and again in nature. Once you begin to notice this, it is impossible to ignore. I hope to finish this project with final good news that our ordeal is over and we can go on with life in a new chapter. _________________________________________________ 2/16/2004 News came this morning by fax from the main insurance company that they are approving Rob's insurance claim at last. It looks as though our ordeal is finally at an end, after over a year of confusion, financial challenges and uncertainty of our decision to make a stand. My greatest hope was that Rob would not have to return to a job which was killing him and harming our family life. Some people thrive in the securities industry, but it's not for everyone. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders and that we can start all over again. Our story is a testament that God answers prayer. We may not be "out of the woods" yet in terms of dealing with life's problems, but I have learned one lesson over the past years: I can only live one day at a time and it's far better to trust God than to fret and worry. He takes care of his children if we put our cares on Him, because He loves us so very much. Another lesson I'm still learning is to try to "love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you." The words of Christ and perhaps the hardest to comprehend. How do you love a huge conglomerate corporation full of managers, attorneys and insurance workers who see you as a name without a face? Before I get into a "pity party," I have to remember that Jesus was faced with the "powers that be" in his own time, namely the Roman and Pharisee authorities that eventually found him to be enough of a threat to warrant execution. And Jesus was a healer and teacher and respecter of the scriptures, one who preached love. So I tried to change my frustration into a positive work, doing my artwork as best I could, promoting love and it's symbols, trying to translate these into visual works of interpreted beauty. Still I found myself falling into sadness and despair. We simply cannot pull ourselves out of trouble on our own. Many nights I would lay awake and tell God, "I just love you, Lord. I trust you. Help my unbelief." He gave me ways to encourage me to keep believing, things I could take as a sign of hope and encouragement to get me through the weeks when things looked so bleak. We can't always muster faith by ourselves. We need Him to help us. "Faith, Hope and Love, these three, but the greatest of these is Love." -Karen P.S. I am thankful for our attorneys who helped us stand for what we believed in. What happens to people who don't have an attorney, who cannot defend their claims on their own? We held out for many months, no income to see us through except our savings and loans. How many people are forced to return to certain jobs when health concerns and doctors say they should not? These are questions for the legislators and elected representatives of our country, our leaders, our corporate leaders and our citizens to consider. I would not wish these health insurance problems upon anyone at all, yet I know they go on every day in America. People can lose their life savings, their homes and their retirement funds over such situations. We were faced with this. How can this be changed?
|